President Obama put it best:

Wrinkles on your face used to make you look old. Now that frozen, shiney, puckery face makes you look old. Too much work too soon has made her look like someone trying to look 36.

Phoenix is actually a pretty cool city. Tempe is cooler for sure but it’s the REST of this godforsaken state that blows. Especially all the cities that are old people only.

She’s only been married to Mnuchin for two months and she’s laying claim to how much “we’ve” paid in taxes. Who are “we”? She and Mnuchin won’t even be filing a joint tax return for nearly a year (or more if they file an extension).

Go back to your home on Tacky Whore Island.

Shes a failed actress who finally landed the job of sucking some creepy old guys dick in exchange for jewelry and fine home furnishings.

“Republican committees and groups including the RNC, congressional campaigns, and the Republican Governors Association have shelled out a total of almost $1.3 million to Trump-owned businesses this year.”

I’m expecting a commentary any moment now about how Obama loosened up Naval policies for shipping lanes, or didn’t make our warships scary looking enough, or some bullshit about how his was his fault.

Scandalize it for a month? It would still be a talking point of theirs to this day.

President Obama would have been fully briefed within seconds. That’s exactly the reason he is our gold standard.

To be fair, “Fox and Friends” had not yet aired at that point and he hadn’t had a chance to see how he was supposed to respond.

Turns out everyone in this administration thinks everyone else they work with is a complete fuckwit. And they’re all correct.

...aaaaaand now my brain is trying to come up with a ‘MAGA’ parody for ‘YMCA’. Great. Thanks for the earworm!

This wouldn’t shock me in the least if it were real (and demanded by Trump himself) since, you know, he’s -actually- guilty of every fucking thing he accuses his “opponents” of being guilty of.

YES. Sometimes I wake up and am surprised we still have electricity and garbage disposal.

I remember you, man! I was the towering beauty who wore cargo pants and carried the helpless little native childen to safety!

Spoiler: he dead.

Heart of Darkness: needs more white ladies 2/10 would not read again

In tribute to Ms. Linton, I am also announcing my new memoir, recounting the time I sailed up the Congo River to search for a mysterious ivory trader named Kurtz.