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Good first impression: hold out the back of your hand for them to sniff, then when they are comfortable that you are not threatening, scratch them behind the ears and under the chin. From there you can move on to petting and, it goes without saying, heavy petting.

I don’t remember ever being abducted by aliens or angering an elderly witch. Let me think about that for a bit though.

Dear Savage Nobody,

Now playing

One of the best storylines is when Max acts like a bear for the whole episode.

I thought that I was going to do a dry January but that didn’t happen. I also signed up for a January boot camp that I thought I was going to do but exercising is hard. I run and bike and the boot camp had a charity component to it and it came with a free neck gaiter so yay me!

Dear Savage Nobody,

Ninjas fighting dragon ninjas AND eye dongs?  If I was a woman, I’d be pretty moist right now.  Moist. 

Dear Savage Nobody,

Dear Savage Nobody,

Dear Savage,

Dear Nobody,

Isn’t True Heart that movie where Christian Slater has a baboon heart?

Dear Nobody,

Dear Savage Nobody,

Dear Savage Nobody,

Dear Savage Nobody,

Dear Savage Nobody,