you had me at

Are we now required to explain how anything we tweet doesn’t refer to Kim Kardashian?

I was about to say this. a “reverse French braid” is just a dutch braid. It’s the only way I can plait my hair because I tried to regular French braid and my hands/brain won’t cooperate.

I love Yvette Nicole Brown’s response to this “trend” so I’ll just leave this here

i mean it was on the front page of reddit so clearly the internet said yes. also, by the way, wtf, the original post didn’t mention their chastity at all. in fact, i didn’t even think about whether or not they’re doing it until i saw this headline. they may not be the most annoying (you actually might be today), but…

I tried to watch the video that the first screen cap is from and had to turn it off because it’s unbelievably irritating. They do this thing where they pretend they have a single brain and say the same thing at the same time, only it isn’t true so one of them is always slowing down for the other to catch up and say…

When really, fuckwit would almost be interchangeable with either word at this point.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. A rich white man lives in a bubble of privilege transitions into a rich white woman living in a bubble of privilege. Her awful opinions aren’t surprising.

I don’t think it’s a question of intelligence; I think it’s one of caring. She will never need an abortion or social welfare benefits, so in her mind those issues are unimportant. It’s like when I hear about how tax plans affect people with a lot of investment income — that’s not me and it’s never going to be me, so…

I don’t know, I think he gets points for honesty.

“Will this ever end?” I’m sure that’s what the Goldman and Brown families ask themselves daily when trying to deal with the grief over their murdered loved ones.

Goats are awful. You feed them day in and day out for a week, and when you show up late ONE DAY they protest by breaking the thing that holds the electric wire above the fence. And you don’t see it because it’s dark outside and when you go to open the date you get shocked so hard it knocks you on your ass. And then…

Only if I can have one of these:

You guys I want a penguin so bad. And goats. And a few red pandas. And a sloth. Just let me move into the zoo, mmkay?

Oh, you mean she dropped an “F bomb” :(

Did Ciara shoot that fish?! Why does it have bullet holes?

That is a fascinating ball of whack you’ve found there.

It always seems to come back around to my sex tape. Yes, a sex tape that was made 13 years ago. 13 YEARS AGO. Literally that lonnng ago. And people still want to talk about it?!?!

My mom once had a dream that she could skateboard like in the old Mountain Dew commercials. She was quite convinced that it was a possibility that she actually could skateboard and that she only did not do so because she never tried. And so, we are at the neighbor’s house and she asks to borrow a skateboard from the…