Maybe don’t call a place populated mostly by poor minorities and which has been reeling from the decimation of the manufacturing business and white flight ‘the butthole of America’. I take it that you drove through in your Landrover and decided the view wasn’t to your liking and you hustled home to Greenwich, CT.

I think bootlegging is super uncool.

100% yes

she’s just been constantly pregnant with the same child for ten years

yeah but is she pregnant tho. i’ve been waiting 10 years for confirmation

Kids are terrible. That’s awful advice.

I don’t need an aphrodisiac. I need someone to have sex with. That would be great.

I have three kids and I can’t keep their names straight. This would be a living nightmare.

And with zero marketable skills they’ll get the fun experience of starting at the bottom and making minimum wage, all while having to interact with outside people who hold different (read: frighteningly heathen) points of view and values than they do.

They have NO SHAME. They learned nothing. They do not feel bad at all about what happened to their daughters. How is this supposed to be Christian?? I’d rather have all the pre-marital sex I want, and drink, and wear slutty clothes, than be this greedy, shameless, misogynistic missrable shitheads that they are. That…

Grifters gotta grift.

Can we send them bootstraps?

They just forget to mention you can buy it with varying degrees of additives in any grocery store or make your own with minimal cooking skills.

Even when I knowingly eat asparagus at lunch, I’m still like “what the fuck is that smell!?” when I pee later in the afternoon. What’s worse is if I also have beets for lunch and it comes out tinted red. I get very worried and then breathe a sigh of relief when I remember my pee is only red and stinky because of lunch.

aspergeau de toilette.

While we’re at it, can we drop this claim that “bone broth” is in any way a new or innovative product rather than something humans started making a few minutes after the discovery of boiling?

The term “asparagus water” makes me think about how asparagus pee smells.

Blake Lively speaking hyper-intellectualized Woody Allen dialogue is the funniest thing i can imagine, I’m very excited.

The last black man to call somebody Honkey was George Jefferson.

As someone who has had plastic surgery, I find everything she said to be 100% true. Cosmetic surgery is an emotional journey. Teens should wait until their faces are fully formed and until they have a better sense of self and what they want. It’s foolish to deny having had cosmetic surgery, and making changes is not…