They’re hungover like everyone else. Call ‘em Thursday.

Nah.

Volunteer at your local Democratic party headquarters .

Pear salad makes me cry.

The Gros Michel banana supposedly tasted more like artificial banana flavoring than the Cavendish variety we eat today. I doubt that helped.

It is not real.

Hypnosis isn’t real.

‘Now you can at least mute the racist frog in your life, if that’s any solace.’

That car is/was ugly.

When Newt Fucking Gingrich is the lesser of two evils? Yeah, we’re royally fucked.

Newt’s a fucking asshole, but at least he’s sort of sane.

Huma and Susan Sarandon both share in the blame for this mess.

He’s always been pretty shitty.

She nailed it.

Yes’m .

You missed about 35 states.

That’s Ursula.

It doesn’t surprise me a bit that you’re from Arizona.

There is no law that requires the president to follow directions from the Secret Service.

Shitty gilded plastic is neither ‘nice’ nor ‘luxurious’.