I will remember that while I imagine:

To be fair, I have always hated Leonardo diCaprio, he seems like an entitled spoiled fuck face.

I feel like lottery tickets are a shitty Christmas gift under any circumstances, but for a big shot to give scratch off tix to the crew seems like such a bummer, gift-wise.

Bring me out of the greys, if you don’t mind.

He looks 53% more bangable with a touch of grey, touch of the grumps and that beard, IMO.

Yea and the way he speaks to the press constantly about her life (despite not being in it) is super gross. If you feel the need to publicly air your grievances over your strained relationship (and probably getting paid for it), it shows that you’re a manipulative ass.

And who the fuck cares what Burt Reynolds’s opinion is on their relationship? He should really just shut his face.

Not an Angelina fan, but I can’t blame her here. From all accounts I’ve heard, Jon Voight is a shitty human being and a terrible father.

All chaps are assless. Those are assless pants.

Who decides what is acceptable and not? Why can’t we make socks “a thing.” I guarantee you would find my sock-enclosed feet much more attractive than my bare (bloody) feet after they’ve been walking around in straps that are cutting into them and chafing them raw.

you bite your tongue, Prince can pull off anything he wants.

I'm sorry but when you put together a store for the modern woman that only sells 10 thousand dollar items of clothing then you deserve a little light ribbing for being totally out of touch with reality.

Do tell? Why is this? I can’t help but feel shame, embarrassment, and remorse for shit all the time, even sometimes when I actually haven’t done anything wrong and people are like, “Why are you apologizing?” But it seems there are a lot of people incapable of even realizing when they’ve done something stupid, mean, or…

Nah, it’s the comedians who rely on shit like “Hahah, no one wants to fuck me, or remember that time someone fucked me let’s build a 45 minute set around my fuckability” who are fucking TERRIBLE.

Wanda Sykes is FABULOUS doing standup.

I think i’d be happier with his aging if he cut or at least washed his hair. and stopped it with those stupid earrings. it’s like he’s aging into steven tyler.

We could have already if we would be more serious about alternate fuel sources.

Man, I dream of the day when we grow some balls on Saudi Arabia. It’s too fucked up.

Absent from the speech: “we will cut all financial and commercial links to Saudi Arabia.”