I was gonna be like, "Tweeting while wearing a transparent dress is taking attention-seeking to a whole new level" but this ad kind of sold it.

yeah....I faked it with a bloody nose (I had them all the time). I wish I could take tiny me out for fro-yo and tell her to enjoy life without feeling like her vag is on fire once a month.

Agreed- they look great, but the wall... I saw crumbled blue cheese. Either way, we're both seeing moldy food...

I think the photo of them is beautiful, but that wall looks like moldy cauliflower to me.

"Presumably he'll just throw a check addressed to Poseidon off the side of his giant yacht..."

They are indeed.

What's particularly off-putting is that the family who insists on keeping the dog is (according to the news report) a military family. You'd expect them to respect a soldier's property.

That family is a bunch of shitheads.

Because I can stop watching, I can. :***(

As shit loss is not objective reporting, why not go with the tried and true opener, "I can't stop watching", followed by "some strange European barking at dogs"

Don't forget Reddit. It wasn't just 4chan.

(Guns, 'Murka).

Way to miss the fucking point of the story.

You are right. All animals over 6 pounds should be banned.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend. I talked about how I was very interested in the Holocaust when I was a child and imagined I would work at a memorial one day. Turned out that when I was younger I was able to stomach that information much better and now I actively avoid anything Holocaust related…

People?

Smile! Because baby/honey/gurrrl, you're too pretty to look sad, and you should focus on whether or not your face is pleasing to men.

But don't smile too much, or we'll have to kill you.

but here anyway are his top five sickest burns:

I would absolutely send that thing on a world tour, or at least put it on some other vehicle - a semi at a truck stop, maybe a mid-level politician's car... It's just begging for abuse.