I'm a bit impressed with how hard they are working NOT to talk about the dresses.

At this point I'm more familiar with JLo's breasts than my own.

How awkward are Melanie Griffith and Dakota Johnson. For real.

Why am I tearing up?

I don't get it. Pole dancers and escorts deserve to be treated like shit? That girl was a stripper once so she should never be respected again? Mmmmk....

Exactly. And of course I strongly suspect the NFL does not actually have the before/during game numbers on the Indy balls, only that at halftime those balls were in range.

That take is so hot, it's a miracle that your fingers didn't melt before clicking Publish.