Hilariously I and my Jewish grandma were chatting about how maybe the only way the Israeli-Palestinian conflict will end is if they get a common enemy and work together to beat the shit out of it. Like France and England used to do.

But what if he insults all three equally at once, thereby giving them a common enemy? Christians, Jews, and Muslims of all kinds forgive their centuries of grievances against each other as they unite against the Unholy Tangerine that Satan has unleashed upon the earth.

Believe it or not, he’s getting his overcooked steak and ketchup.

Can you imagine him at any formal dinner? Or even eating anywhere he isn’t served charred steak with ketchup?

There is a 0% chance that 45 doesn’t say something totally insane, even for him, on this trip. It is going to be long, boring, and he won’t be able to go golfing. He is going to be grouchy as a baby on a roadtrip with a dirty diaper.

Look, I think he is a dick and a slimy asshole, but I will give you one point here. I hate all the “poor Huma” “free Huma” “fuck Huma” pointed fingers. We know nothing about their marriage. Maybe she knew and didn’t care. Maybe they got off on it later while having sex. Maybe they were still married but not together…

Sometimes it’s not easy to leave.

Hey, some of her best friends are tits.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s...

[Cornell and Roger Ailes sit in Charon’s barge, and open their complimentary meals.]

RIP Mercedes. I’m glad that you got justice. You deserved better.

When I was in my 2o’s, I had a cute butt, perky tits and tiny waist. (But no silicone tits right under my chin.) Now I’m almost 67. After two pregnancies and a hard bout with breast cancer 18 year ago, I have a saggy ass, thick waist, poochy tummy and lopsided boobs. I still go to the gym to increase my muscle mass,…

Obligatory:

Because it’s about fear.

Hey, action must be taken asap. Once they become fifth graders, the terrorists have won. # MAGA

All intimidation is good publicity. They wanted to scare everyone in that school.

“Ayyyyy we was just down tha block at Frank’s for the Monday suprasot special and thought we’d pay little Fareed just a lil visit to ax him about his fambly, get to know the guy, see how his school’s goin. No disrespect!” *chokes out nearby cart vendor*

People can talk shit about New York City, but you can always count on us to have your back.

Correct. If ICE just wanted to know if said child was enrolled at the school, pick up the phone and call the school. No way they sent an agent down to the school to check on enrollment in person. ICE calls for work and school checks (I know from my livings); they send out agents to pick people up.

If they were just looking to verify certain facts, why couldn’t ICE just call the school and ask to speak to the appropriate school employee? Doesn’t seem very efficient to send two officials in person.