I’ve told this story to so many people that I’m afraid it will give me away, but I don’t even care. In high school one night I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to a loud thump on the front porch. I looked out and saw a couple guys on our porch so I naturally screamed to my parents that someone was on the porch. My…

In my hometown there’s a Celtic music festival each summer. Hippy folky musician types who play fiddle and have some sort of Gaelic descent come from all over the world for the festivities. My parents were highly involved in the organization of this festival, we hosted some musicians each year, and I volunteered at…

She was hysterical. As she aged, she started getting dementia really bad. Her memory basically stopped when my dad was a scrawny 110 lb 21 yr old. Whenever he would go visit her, he would walk in as a 200lb 48 yr old and she would cringe and yell, “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?” One time he wanted to take her out of…

The first time my first serious boyfriend met my parents, at some point it was mentioned that he was Catholic. My mom took this as an opportunity to LOUDLY start singing “Every Sperm is Sacred” from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life. In retrospect, I find this hilarious (and am very impressed at how much of the…

Back when I used to go to church with my mom, she would answer the pastor’s rhetorical questions. As in he’d ask something like “and who among us has not sinned” or some shit, and she would yell “I AM A SINNER, THANK YOU JESUS”. Which would’ve been fine if it was that kind of church, but it was not, it was one of…