It is, however, how jokes work.

This is the best comment I’ve read. Ever. How are you not working in the Leaf’s front office? I feel like they should fire Lamarello and give you the job.

Jesus. Christ. Ima tweet this at Kessel right TF now. So good. So delicious. With all that ketchup, mustard, and those poppy seed buns.

I regret not understanding this. The joke follows the pattern of things I find most funny, and it deflates me when other don’t see it. If I followed baseball, or basketball, at all I probs would have loved it. Maybe a Rivers passing stat in response to a Joe Thornton fight would have done it.

Jesus H Christ. Is it a sure sign of mental illness that I want to go to this? Like, a lot. Like, Phil Kessel wants a hot dog between shifts a lot? Oh, there we go. An award to the “best” food Phil Kessel could eat between periods/shifts.

I don’t get it. I’d like to not feel left out. Can this please be explained to me? Why is the Kobe thing relevant/topically irrelevent, and why is it a burn?

Nice! Thanks dude.

Now all I’ve got is a vision of Mr McGreg (with a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg) on the mound.

That’s pretty helpful. Thank you.

Interesting. Does the wind often take the ball far off course as it flys?

OK, this I get. That’s a whole lotta English on that ball.

They all do. In fact if the catcher wasn’t perfectly choreographing the pitch with the pitcher he’d almost never catch it. Look at all the breaking balls that have the bottom fallout of them or track too far to one side. As soon as the pitch location is unpredictable the catcher has to body the ball down to keep it in…

So I’m seeing a rare combination of power and accuracy?

They do seem to be having a great deal of fun.

Interesting. I’m under no illusion I would be capable of this. You’re saying that this kick is about 30 yards out, and that even with all the talent and practice in the world, even the beat have a hard time coming up with this kind of ball placement?

Right then. Good job. It seems you’ve mastered hate drinking your useless self into an impotent rage you can only spew in the comment section. I bet its because real people terrify you. And its only 730pm, who knows what else you may accomplish today. Maybe you can stare at a wona until she has to leave your presence…

Interesting analogy with golf. That helps. Tyvm.

When I see a basketball game with Curry playing there are 9 boys on the hard wood that aren’t doing anything that remotely approaches his play. The cross over, behind the back, spin in a circle, and drain a 3 in a heart beat while pro level guys fall over, run the wrong way, and stare at each other looking flommoxed.…

I get that. It’s obvious I couldn’t do this. But there are 22 boys on the pitch that should be able to do just this routinely, aren’t there?

Right, that seems given. But all those boys live and breathe soccer from birth, so why is this in particular amazing?