““He paid the price,” said Meyer, who lives across the river from Cincinnati in northern Kentucky. “When you pay the price, then you’re forgiven.” Yeah, right. This is reality we’re talking here, Ms. Meyer, not Christianity.

Even though everything I did led to only one possible outcome I DESERVED BETTER.

I want to marry this image and then take it back to the hotel room to do terrible, sexy things to it.

You guys are adorable and you have your priorities sorted. FYI if the leather covers don’t work out, you could consider installing a swing in your living room.

We spent a large sum of money today replacing the living room armchair covers with leather (previously fabric) because the dog hair has become absurd. We briefly pondered training the dog to, ya know, not sit on the furniture. “But that would make him sad,” I said. “Yeah,” my scary ex-combat soldier said, “I don’t…

“Why is she hitting drywall with a hammer, seemingly at random? What outcome is she hoping for?”

“Why did you lie to me, Hammer?”

She even misses the nail.

I’m sorry for the following. But I must vent.

The look on her face clearly says “Wait...hammer? I swear I picked up a wet noodle! How did this hammer get here?”

This metaphor works on so many levels. A+ Kinja!

“Let’s face it, he’s going to look out for corporations, to make things work for them, to bring jobs back home,” Terry said. “And as things trickle down — as they’re going to because it’s America — the little guy will get something, too.”

“As things trickle down...” that guy should look up where we get that saying from.

Wallet inspector!

I, for one, am shocked, shocked to find that Trump is a lying con man. Nobody could possibly have known.

Newsflash; people who can’t tell they’ve been conned surprised when it turns out they’ve been conned.

Drunk Cuba Gooding Jr. is more interesting than regular Cuba Gooding Jr.