Taylor Swift can’t melt steel beams!

Hell, no. Whatever Drake’s faults, we first made him famous so it’s on us but Justin Bieber was a perfectly fine kid before you guys discovered him and made him a star. He’s all yours.

Drake is “Bitch, me too!”ing Taylor Swift, because of course he is. He’s the Taylor Swift or rap. Wheels within wheels, man. It all makes sense. Wake up sheeple!

Avril. Drake. Who will be the next suburban child of an orthodontist you export to our detriment?

It’s a dig at the very real possiblity that the Cruzs are illegal aliens. Literal aliens.

I believe Ted Cruz’s wife spends most of the year back home in Alpha Centauri but he’s not president so it’s ok with me.

“...Melania is extremely close to Baron,” the source told the Post, “and they have become closer during the campaign...”

I trust that all the conservatives who complained about the expense and inconvenience every time the Obamas visited Hawaii will be up in arms.

None, but there’s a rumor that Barron’s autistic.

Follow-ups: how much is this going to cost us as taxpayers? And how much is this going to cost Midtown businesses?

None. In fact it’s going to put a YUGE stress on the Secret Service. West wing addressed this in detail with President Elect Santos.

So.... this is unprecedented ? yes? like how many other families have done this?

Spot on.

On Friday, Tequila tweeted photos of herself at a private, alt-right D.C. dinner

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

Lets not forget wagging one’s finger in the President’s face and going apshit on the tarmac while doing it

Nah, Trump would delude himself into believing people were saying something else.

youre thirty-great.

That imperative “APOLOGIZE!” and the end of Drumpf’s tweet just makes me want to scream: “FUCK YOU YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” then slam the door to my bedroom.