Duct tape is strong, but I expect that would soon balloon out, forming a giant straining ball, before exploding with such force everyone in the room suffered severe lacerations and shrapnel wounds.

Ok a professional comedian does dress weirder than Trump. But he still has more class than Trump

This tape would be so much better.

“I’m not racist, I’ve never burnt a cross in anyone’s yard.”

The bar is literally “I’ve never called someone a racial slur to their face.” Is this what “Make America Great Again” was about?

Because they are trying to look as Aryan as possible and would chug bleach if it would get them there?

FUCK HER AND TREVOR NOAH FOR ALLOWING HER ON THE SHOW.

When asked whether or not she’s racist or what, she responded “I’ve never used racial slurs to address people.

Best take away: “I don’t see color.”

Petraeus was sentenced to two years’ probation in April 2013 for passing classified information to Paula Broadwell, who was at the time writing his biography and with whom he was also having an affair.

wait the weekend is a former Jonas Brother? no I do not think so. The Weeknd is superior to any Jonas.

The Weeknd was in the Jonas Brothers?

I used to call this “billionaire hair” because it’s so typical of men who are so rich nobody can tell them they look like clowns, but it also clearly applies to fascists and dictators. I think anyone surrounded by yes men and prone to self-delusion is vulnerable to it.

Kim is only having a bad year because she was born the year of the monkey and this being the year of the monkey is supposed to be terrible for her.

Enormously distressing is dealing with all of those things without the resources Kim and Kanye have. Put it in perspective here people.

Man, that picture of them blows me away. They were so much more natural looking back then. And Rob—holy hotness. Plus, Kylie (not pictured) was still wearing her human form back then.

That drives me nuts, as a former girl scout. WHERE IS YOUR LIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

That drives me insane, the people who yell the loudest about respecting the flag, know the least about what that actually entails, including not wearing that ugly shirt Janet!

But his daughter in a flag bikini- that’s patriotism and art!

You should also probably mention that besides the 1st Amendment issue regarding the flag, Title 4 of the USC Code, Chapter 1, Paragraph 8, section k states: “The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.”