I’m 100% sure she did not get the joke.

I just wanna know where I can get Jennifer Lawrence’s outfit.

I want to put a catheter full of fire ants up his pee hole.

I know everyone is cooing over the cute baby seal. But that isn’t normal animal behavior and the poor thing is clearly suffering. I hope it makes a full recovery and finds it’s way to a pristine beach somewhere. :(

“[I] start with some Kundalini meditation” - eye roll - “and a 23-minute breath set” - *twenty three* minutes? uugh, k, whatever - “along with a copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea” - oh, christ, it’s official. This bitch is the worst - “before my son Rohan wakes.” - Annnnnd I’m out.

You know what they say, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

I think the Liebman joke is one of the weakest claims. That’s a pretty obvious joke. I’m sure it’s been made a million times by a million people.

This storm should meet my good friend, Florida.

For those who didn’t see the game, let me summarize Chris Collinsworth’s commentary:

Stop with this face. You are beutiful and sexy without it.

To be fair, I have always hated Leonardo diCaprio, he seems like an entitled spoiled fuck face.

No. Being proud of her own success - at her career and at not getting pregnant - is not an implied criticism of other women.

Amen, sister. Almost 32 and still baby-free, thanks to my fear of penises as a teenager, and a free supply of slut pills as an adult. THANKS OBAMA.

It’s not a job, its a hobby. These cheerleaders are not professional athletes. Athletes compete, these cheerleaders are entertainers. They do not do aerials, they do leg kicks - once a week for a show. Professional dancers in theater do shows twice a day. I’m confused if you’re not comparing things in an apples to…

Women have a right to prostitution. Don’t be judgemental.

I don’t disagree with you, but these women knew the job paid shit when they signed up for it, right? I have to be missing something here because I don’t understand why there is any outrage over what they were paid. If they wanted more money, they shouldn’t have taken the job.

I agree that they should be paid, but calling them professional athletes in the same vain as the players they're cheering for is...short-sighted

A baby Wheel?

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?