I thought an eagle punch was when you punch someone in the stomach right before he climaxes causing them to screech and flap their arms.

Man that sucks. At the same time, it’s kinda cool. Weird feeling to have.

I know. Deklan is a terrible name.

I’m a guy, and this horrifies me more than I can express.

I got one six months ago, and my boyfriend still makes fun of me lying on the couch yelling that he came home from work without bringing me any food and the heating pad was more than three feet away so I couldn’t reach it.

As a lady who just got a Mirena and has never been pregnant, I will say they HURT LIKE HELL. Like, yell that something is wrong, feel nauseous for an hour, crawl into bed with ibuprofen and question why you did that bad.

No real ghost stories but this book series scared the shit out of me as kid:

Very effective. Just reading the phrase “which hole is the clit??” made my clit climb into my body to hide.

Well she went to school with my great aunt, who’s 82, so. She’s also 82. There. Mystery solved again.

At least post a REAL samurai.

They’re like a bunch of Brett Favre’s out there!!!

tuberculosis. you stepped in so much tuberculosis. but you ran a fucking marathon, so it was totally worth it.

I have always loved running. My first marathon was Chicago, too. With only 2 miles left to, the blisters on my pinky-toes went off. I finished the last 2 miles barefoot. I don’t want to know what I stepped in that day.

perfectly stable Bears fan

Hey, man, why the hate? We Packers fans LOVE Jay Cutler.

Fumble recovery truthers are the fucking worst.

Right here haters....right here. The Champs are Here!!!

This is... amazing.

What’s funny is you captured four women with this caption, and at least three of them have expressions that would fit.

This expression says “I went to school for goddam journalism. What the fuck am I doing with my life.”