I actually change how I pronounce it based on how it will annoy other people the most. Observe: “GIF!”

Kick his ass, Seabass!

If I had a peanut allergy and was cured a week later you’d find me dead, in the back of a stolen Reese Peanut Butter delivery truck, having eaten myself to my own end.

It’s WHAT you choose to write about that matters.

I think you’re forgetting who was president in 2008

Uh actually you lost half at the end of Bush administration and 8 years later it was 30-40% higher than before the crash.

New Samsung ad campaign: Drop tested to 5k feet. Plane crash proof. Drone free arial photography feature.

Yeah, being forced off of a GoDaddy server really isn’t any kind of punishment.

Gee, hybrid fish from all natural sources, or beef raised on synthetic cancer causing growth hormones...

As part of Martin Shkreli’s sentence, can I appeal to the court, that he must release the Wu-Tang Clan album?

At least one good thing has come out of 2017 so far. Maybe if we’re lucky this year will keep up the momentum.

Tell me more about the bowling set

Hm. I was under the impression that procedurally, he had the right to exercise veto power no matter what, and this would require a new vote to override the veto. Practically speaking its the same thing there’s no reason they wouldn’t override his veto immediately, but I thought the procedure applied no matter what. To…

Finally, Pakistan is now Sans Sharif.

That sounds fine, but how do you tell it to differentiate between a line of stopped traffic on the freeway and a line of parked cars on the street?

Isn’t this the plot of a Black Mirror episode?

1) Tweets are tech.

Thank you. I’ll let our friends from across the pond figure out how to convert from Rhode Islands into Waleses if they ask me.