Telling off trolls sounds so much classier in French. Next time someone is mean to me, I’m going to say “à tous les haters, je vous souhaite sincèrement... un prompt rétablissement” then put on sunglasses and glide away.

Sometimes marriages are just done and it’s not a third party’s fault. Unpopular opinion, I realize.

Bobby, I’d just like to say that I rewatched First Wives Club last night because of your live blog and even though I haven’t seen it in forever, it still holds up. It makes me wish Bette and Goldie were still acting more because they were both perf.

oh cool i didn’t realize medical supply companies were pivoting to become consumer-facing

Goddamn I’m gonna miss her.

#TEAMPETTYAF

THIS IS LITERALLY THE REST OF MY DAY

I have seen so many tabloid covers screaming about the rumored divorce of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that news of their actual divorce hit me not like a ton of bricks, but like a gentle dusting of old, scraped off grout from in between a ton of bricks.

If Emma pays.

they have like

But if I come up for an NYC visit will you see it with me?

is this gonna be like a ben affleck thing where brad goes and lives in george clooney’s pool house for a few months because

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

“The closeted perv has never come out as gay”

Because he very well may not be; being a child predator /= gay. Abusive sex is about power, not identity.

The only thing I could fap to in that trailer was the fact that it ended.

Well said. People are also forgetting that just the fact that she took to twitter to mention her lack of offense at the term oriental, she became the unwilling mouthpiece for Asian Americans everywhere.

I hate Tracy Anderson too. Her “method” is a load of horse shit based on pseudoscience. She thinks every woman should have “a teeny, tiny dancer’s body.” She also once said that women shouldn’t lift anything heavier than 5 lbs; MY 180 LB DEADLIFT SAYS DIFFERENTLY TRACY. #fucktracyanderson #noreally

Best part: When ‘Yonce steps in to congratulate the couple a beat too soon and nopes back out