Kylie and Khloe Komplain They Kan’t Kompete With Sisters Surgeries During Pregnancy.

Kylie Jenner might have to stop getting lip fillers, now that she’s pregnant and all.

I own a copy of this book, illustrated by Tomi Ungerer. It is The Joy of Sex redone with frogs.

There is no one more mediocre or try-hard as fucking Madonna.

their adult mental gender

Weeping for the defeat of Going to Bed Hella Early.

Fonz was diddys dancing, personal umbrella holder or PUH as Us weekly referred to it in the early 2000's, also known as the best times of my life.

I miss the old Kanye, straight from the go Kanye.

Where did College Dropout Kanye go? He’s been M.I.A. for so long.

I’m not throwing it around. I’ve been hospitalized with mental illness a number of times in my life. I legitimately meant what I said.

I don’t think Kanye has been ok since his mom died.

It’s been hard to love Kanye lately? There’s been nothing about him to love for almost 10 years.

This was my sincere hope, or else I was going to have to eulogize the musical tastes of the general public, along with common sense and general decency among American citizens.

I can deal with a Trump Presidency, I can deal with living in a red state, I can deal with racism and xenophobia and homophobia and papercuts…

I actually hate lettuce! It makes me gag, ruins every sandwich, and I find it in like every food I order, even when I explicitly ask for it to not be in my dish. Gross texture, too. Weirdly, I’m not actually a picky eater at all...but just can’t do lettuce!

It isn’t French because it’s inspired by French cooking, it’s called that because this is what you make when you surrender unconditionally to life.

Ugh. I can hear it already. And it sounds like one of those educational programming videos from the late 80's/early 90's, where some clueless, older, white person thought the way to appeal to adolescent learning was to make dorky white kids rap it.

I voted, and there’s a story of Fassy. Blessed day.

Only a complete moron would have anything to say about someone with freaking conjunctivitis not reporting to a cosmetics job, other than “stay away longer with that.” Do they just not understand what that is and how it works, that is insane.

Can you wear earbuds at work and just listen to music, instead of passive-aggressive whining? If not, put articles about the effects of presenteesim on workplace productivity. Spoiler alert: it’s a negative effect.

I can imagine his Christmas cards this year: