“Could’ve fooled me.”

“There is like a rule that you can’t take anything above $30. I kid you not.”

Can’t wait to not be able to take public transit and brave the busiest interchange in the south and not find parking to overpay to see one of the most dismal teams in MLB history while sitting next to a bunch of old money assholes with funny sounding voices. But at least I won’t have to see black people out the window…

Just let all the rec-league softball teams that used to use the parks, play instead at the new stadium. Braves fans would appreciate the upgrade in the quality of play actually.

This is my favorite disclosure I have ever seen, and it should be worn as a badge of honor.

His college calls have been fantastic, but I’m still partial to his work calling Happy Gilmore’s first major win at the 1996 Tour Championship.

No snark, it’s funny when kids get hurt

This is a reasonable and correct take and has no place in Kinja.

Despite the fact that Simmons has, uh, limited camera appeal...

Hillary has been a key architect of military interventions that have killed hundreds of thousands of Muslims? Was that as Secretary of State, Senator, First Lady, or President of Imagination Town? That’s gonna get a [citation needed], and, given the setting here, it better be in meme form.

That can’t be true. Everyone knows Obama is a secret muslim who helps muslim terrorists, in his spare moments between handing out millions of soccer balls to the people he is inviting across the border to sell drugs and steal all the jobs.

That is a top notch meme. But would you consider it a Trump meme or a Hillary meme?

This...this is a pretty hot take.

Now he’s gonna play with a chip on his shoulder. Which, admittedly, is better than playing with a Chip on your sideline.

My attention and efforts are focused on the participation in and preparation for a championship season:

Copa Labradores.

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

That’s because nobody can find the audio. It’s just that Daily News article that says it. Chicago radio people doing their best to find it and failing.

This was not a “crowded” place. It was private text messages. A public university is bound by the 1st Amendment.