I would add a fourth: “I studied abroad in (insert country here) for three months, so I’m TOTAL EXPERT ON AUTHENTIC (insert country’s cuisine here)!!!!”

There are only three Yelp restaurant reviews:

My hick town got an honest-to-goodness gourmet pizza place, with a Neopolitan oven and home made ingredients. Their Yelp page is up to its ass in people complaining that they “can get pizza for $10 at Dominos, why does this one cost $18?”. 

I always like the ones for restaurants where they discuss how great the food and service is and then still give a 3 star.

Tweetdeck tells you what device it came from

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Trump supporter: “Well, maybe he did strangle a baby but......emails!”

Yeah! Like an asshole that wants to eat, and pay rent, and stuff. Unbelievable! Getting a job. And then doing it! What an asshole.