Tim Collins, if you’re reading this, hit me up.

I’m glad I’m immune to the siren song of mint condition. I’d pay $25 for a loose copy of Secret of Mana with TIM COLLINS sloppily scrawled on both sides in magic marker and never need anything better.

Forbidden: Zero Dawn was one of those games I had to take off of my Steam wishlist because it fit the criteria for all the games I already wasn’t whittling off of my backlog: expansive, engrossing, dozens of hours long, and full-price. It’s a game I’m looking forward to putting back on my wishlist and waiting for a…

I’m just waiting for her to face any sort of lasting consequences other than being briefly startled when someone she’s been an asshole to thinks she’s an asshole. At this point, I don’t know if that’s ever coming, and that’s really disappointing.

During the $.59, $.79, $.99 era, a whole bunch of kids at my high school would just skip lunch and use their lunch money to chill out at Taco Bell after school and eat like kings!

I think, if done right, this could be something in the vein of Josie and the Pussycats, where it’s more clever than its source material and doesn’t really need to feel like an episode of the cartoon to be good in its own right. If done poorly, it could be the animated movie equivalent of Eat Lead: The Return of Matt…

What about Marsupilami?

I couldn’t fathom why the ad campaign was centered around “kids just can’t appreciate this very grown-up burger” when I was a kid because it was just good. It was just a bacon burger with some nice toppings, not slathered in ketchup.

The idea of transforming a 2D character into CGI being a cosmetic surgery is such a delicious plot detail. I hate how much creative effort constantly goes into reanimating the dusty corpses of all-but-forgotten IPs from my childhood, but fuck it. This one has my blessing.

Poor guy. It must be so tough to be constantly reminded that you’re a murderous piece of shit. How insensitive of Trayvon’s parents to make comments that reminded him that he stalked and murdered a teenager who was minding his own business in his dad’s fiancee’s neighborhood after the courts clearly ruled that, “Oh,…

“People think you’re funnier because you’re Black funnier.”

I know someone who’s found a lot of joy in solving every Wordle with a starting guess of “DICKS.” This is going to hit him hard.

It happens. I feel the same way about Elder Scrolls. I did every side quest and unlocked every location on Oblivion’s map. Then Skyrim came out, and I was like, “That sounds fun, but no thanks. I’ve had my fill for a lifetime and can keep a positive impression of this series without needing more.”

I was going to riot if PowerWash Simulator wasn’t on the list, and it was last, so I was getting close. I’ve put in like 150 hours since its release, and I’m not sure how it’s so effectively relaxing, but I can totally lose a few hours spraying virtual dirt with virtual water... and feel good about it.

And Volcano Nachos while you’re at it.

I’m really excited about moving onto FFX-2, which I just remember being enamored with from start to finish, and then Lightning Returns, which I bought for X360 but never got around to, despite hearing things that make me think I’m going to enjoy it more than most people did.

Yeah, Smash Bros is at least more accessible because of the controls. I got through all of the story mode in Ultimate by learning decent swordfighter cheese with alternate strategies for battles where it wasn’t effective. The spirits really helped give it an RPG equipment customization spin that gave you more options…

I wound up having three sex ed classes, one apiece in middle school, high school, and college. My middle school sex ed teacher mainly taught home ec and was entirely underqualified. She spread some really oldschool, shame-y, and sometimes misogynistic info/views about sex (don’t give a guy blue balls, ladies, because…

I’ve accepted that I’ll never really be into fighting games. My brother used to use me as a practice dummy in SNES Street Fighter II so he could pull off his combos at the arcade, and it was such a pathetic skill gap that I could only celebrate occasionally squeaking through a single round at a time with erratic…

My strategy with baking cheesecakes is to welcome the cracks, because then I can fill them in with chocolate or fruit or butterscotch or coffee beans or whatever.