I feel like the first I heard about this game was a few months ago, and all I remembered was that you’d be repeatedly drugging your wife to get info advance the plot, and then I read the Kotaku review earlier this week, and now this. Those are the only three times I’ve ever seen people talking about the game. I didn’t…

You know, I always mix up the order of seasons 5 and 6. Season 6 is the major stinker I was thinking of. I liked Julia Stiles, and the sexual assault bros’ club/cult was eerily grounded in the toxic Ladder Theory/Friend Zone whining I was seeing a lot of online at the time.

You know, it’s less shocking the second time you see it.

That they were able to make season 4 so good after the low that followed season 2, where they killed off the show’s best character, briefly made me hopeful they’d be able to keep finding new angles to keep the show interesting.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people hyped for Lawn Mowing Simulator, and it doesn’t sound like my thing, but that’s what I said about PowerWash Simulator, which I love. I think I’ll skip this one and try to avoid having to make a Steam folder called “chores, but I swear they’re fun.”

The twist with the Twinkie gender reveal is that if it’s a boy, the cream filling is blue, and if it’s a girl, there’s no Twinkie.

“Oh my god, Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead have the same ex, and she’s awesome!”

I haven’t sat down to watch enough of TWEWY to really even get what it plays like, but my god the visual and audio style is great.

It hasn’t seemed like a very quiet summer for games from my standpoint. Ever since the new Pokemon Snap, I’ve been buckling down and gritting my teeth as I resist buying every new Switch release and re-release. Skyward Sword, Ace Attorney, Mario Golf, Legend of Mana, the NES Final Fantasy pixel remasters, and pretty…

I’ll take one of those, but can I substitute extra bacon for the sausage?

Case by case basis. I’m OK with cucumbers being cukes and mushrooms being shrooms, but I still have to think about what “za” means, and probably still would if it was listed in the pizza section at a pizzeria, accompanied by a picture of pizza.

There was an ass here. It’s gone now.

Rotten Egg/Buttered Popcorn

I’m just waiting for the SNL Taco Town skit to be replicated at an actual restaurant. Is that too much to ask?

And there’s already bacon jam. It’s a hat on a hat.

I’m somehow still not done with Stardew Valley, and yet the end is nigh. I have like 5 million more dollars to make before I can purchase the last four upgrades I need to get the game to admit I’ve done 100% of what there is to do, unless you count the two achievements left to unlock, for clearing Journey of the…

If you want another choice in the same vague genre of sleepy small town simulation, My Time At Portia is like a Harvest Moon game where you play as the tinkerer/carpenter/mechanic instead of the farmer. It’s in 3D, there are some basic combat mechanics and even a handful of boss fights, but at its heart it’s really…

I’m so glad part of my PE class in middle school involved this whole section on how to spot pseudoscientific health claims. It felt like an antiquated lesson since it felt like we were way past the age of miracle elixirs that improved the constitution and restored vigor, but good god, all the bullshit is so mainstream…

There is a bit of that in the early game, but the crafting recipes you get as you level up your skills do a lot to help you overcome the feeling that you only have enough time to plant your crops, water, sleep, and repeat. Once I started getting tools to automate my daily chores (e.g. sprinklers to do all the watering…

Somewhere around middle school, the pledge of allegiance started feeling really, really weird to me. I recited it like a parrot for years, absorbing only the parts that felt good to say. The flag of the United States of America. Yeah, sure, that sounds good. That’s where I live. Go me. Go us. Go U.S.