This is the part of the summer where the games I really want to buy start rolling out. Like many people, I had an experience with the first three Ace Attorney games 15 years ago. No matter how on-rails it was, cracking cases made me feel like a damn genius, and witness breakdowns never fail to entertain.

With a reputation that bad, they might be forced to go into politics.

I’ve missed more than one main-series game. I’ve played the original trilogy, Apollo Justice, and Investigations 1. I’ve been told by some superfan friends that it’s not going to kill me to play GAA ahead of the other ones I’ve missed, but I’m always cautious about playing a series out of release order. Should I take…

This summer is a true test of my “we’re not buying any new games. You’ve already got a billion that you own that you’re excited about” goal that I have already failed multiple times. Playing through the first 5 Ace Attorney games was such an event for me 15 years ago, and I was happy to go back through the first three…

Now here’s someone after my own heart.

I like some of BK’s offerings, and if they do another Hulk movie tie-in I will go out of my way to get the Angry Whopper way more often than I should, but in particular choosing BK’s chicken nuggets over anything is a blistering review.

See, the plan was to play Skyward Sword. It came out two days before my birthday, I’d taken a 4-day weekend, and I figured I may very well be done with the game before I got back to work on Wednesday. But before that, I’d signed up for some little community event thing where several hundred people split into two…

I’m assuming I have access to a wormhole through space and time to restaurants I used to eat at regularly, that are now very, very inaccessible.

Not everyone’s gonna enjoy speedrunning, and even if you do, not every game you like’s going to be a good game for running, and even when you find a game that’s good for you, it’s important to assess how serious you want to be about it. I’ve held a world record in a couple categories of a game like 12 people care…

Not only have I heard the good news about PowerWash Simulator, but I’ve been recruiting more people to the cult. Someone who suggested I had a problem when I had 25 hours logged on Steam watched me play the game for a few hours and is now sitting at 34.8 hours herself. Now I’m following the dev updates religiously to…

That shirt. “Never miss a day. Get the flu shot - Kaiser Permanente”

Sounds like she’s going to be missing a day or two now.

The only almond butter I’ve ever had was from an elementary school cafeteria, and I remember trying a pinch and throwing it away every time they served it. But I love almonds, so if I ever encountered almond butter that was not dispensed onto a styrofoam tray with an ice cream scoop, I’d probably give it a second shot.

Already got a co-op partner in mind.

... and the actor who played Barth died in 2009, so it’d be tricky and possibly in poor taste to get the rights to throw his likeness into a game where he uses a cafeteria menu rife with health code violations to battle cartoons.

I’ve been pooh-poohing these types of games for years, but god damn, after watching someone chill out with it for hours, I picked up PowerWash Simulator a few weeks ago. I’ve played through all the levels at least twice, and I’m ravenous for more things to spray with a hose until they’re clean.

We had a big ol’ conversation about this last night. My suggestion of Barth from YCDTOT didn’t get much traction, but a lot of people agreed that Alex Mack had potential. Pete & Pete would be a great tag team, Marc Summers could be some kind of gakromancer, Mr. Wizard would have all kinds of surprises, and who knows…

The cool thing is, golden retrievers actually can make fetch happen. They’re just that good!

My turning on “the scary monsters can’t hurt you” mode in SOMA didn’t ruin someone else’s playthrough of SOMA, and someone playing through Hollow Knight with an EZ Mode mod doesn’t retroactively make my experience of conquering all the pantheons less rewarding. As long as we both walk away from the game thinking,…

Dang, that dude is desperate for a hate comment so he can get ungreyed and shit all over the comments in plain sight. His first and last comments are like an hour apart, so it’s not just a drive-by shitting; this is a campaign of petulance.

The Trump library consists entirely of magazine covers with his face photoshopped onto them. Not even full magazines, just the covers.