Oh good, the slideshow keeps everything I’ve written so far so I can flip back to other slides to get the names right, pull quotes, etc. without doing a stupid amount of copy/paste. I was worried this would be unwieldy, but it’s actually quite nice.

Is Taco Bell the last remaining fast food chain in this future?

Yeah, most of the Kings just revolve around trying out different ratios of beef, cheese, and bacon, but I did like the Rodeo King. It was like a Western Bacon Cheeseburger that I didn’t have to drive to the other side of town for.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.

It was the Christmas bear. I think the last time I searched was before Google incorporated the first few image results in the general search results. This time it was overwhelming. Eight different results for the correct PEEF, complete with the mysterious logo that fueled more than a few puzzled conversations with…

Here’s where I reveal that, despite my impeccable taste in cheesecake, my affinity for balancing a dozen different herbs and spices in chili and fajitas, and my somtimes snobby attitudes toward limited-time fast food items, I am a human garbage disposal just like everyone else.

It’s pining for the fjords, it is!

Oh, absolutely. That’s why it’s hard to lend Buttigieg credibility regardless of what his platform looks like or how much effort he’s putting forth now that his abysmal history has been highlighted.

I don’t get the calculus ranking Pete Buttigieg higher than Bernie Sanders. Something’s off here...one of Buttigieg’s supporters must be holding Michael hostage.

Final Fantasy XV has been on my “eventually” list for a while. It’s gone on and come off my Steam wishlist as I realized my laptop didn’t have the specs for it, and despite some fairly mixed reviews, it’s one I’ll (eventually) be excited to get my mitts on. I watched someone stream the game shortly after it came out.…

I’ll stick with just the regular round, thanks.

Seriously? The best they could do was a dumb old pediatric surgeon who barely has an 8-pack? 

What the deuce... is that a half Windsor? If you’re going to take the coward’s way out, we have no place for you in this bunker. The end of civilization will not reduce us to savages!

I’m a cancer, but I’ll trade birthdays with a virgo or gemini.

Well first off, it’s not Spanish ham. “Soy ham” is a description, not an introduction.

It came out a bit later than Pandemic 2, and is similar to the point that I was once told and believed (incorrectly) that Plague, Inc. was what Pandemic renamed itself to to distinguish itself when the board game Pandemic started to become popular.

On top of being impossible to take seriously as a human being due to his life choices, Steven Seagal now looks like the love child of The Jesus and Walter from The Big Lebowski.

This column is just the sort of crazy weird TV/food crossover that’s perfectly suited to Allison. I don’t comment much on them because I don’t watch the show so I don’t get to chime in with a knowing, “Right? And what about the plate of weird green mush on the table during the date where they went ballroom dancing…

I have weekly board game nights at a comic shop where one of the employees brings his dog in during his shift. Carrots are her favorite thing in the world. If you let on that you’ve brought carrots, she will not leave you alone until she no longer smells them or has been adequately convinced that, wherever that carrot…

According to an article from earlier in the month, it was supposed to be a celebration of ugly physical features. The explanation isn’t exactly doing them favors.