You only need a certificate to engage in oral sex. It’s $50 for an afternoon class where I’m at. I got my cert after 3 hours on a Saturday. Met some lovely people there too, I still speak with a few of them.

include the issuance of a license to engage in sodomy

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

I’d call her a cunt, but she lacks the depth and warmth.

If I was Kim Davis I’d be soooooo pissed that Huckabee turned my special martyr appreciation rally into a presidential rally all about him. I bet he wears white to her fifth wedding, too.

Sick geography burn.

Wrong India, Columbus.

Yeah, I’m not really sure how far Kim Davis’ lawyer has thought this Nazi comparison out. You know who was persecuted and killed in Nazi Germany (besides Jews, of course)? Gay people. In this analogy, whom does Kim Davis represent?

oy gay

...I'm not sure whether this offends me more as a Jew or as a gay person.

For what it’s worth, these douchebros made a sign that sounds like they want to call the father’s “Daddy,” not that they want the daughters to call them Daddy.

Tl;dr - Women who present themselves in a heteronormative feminine way such as maintaining a certain weight or wearing their hair a certain way in order to be attractive to men and therefore “snag a man” are, in fact, trying to “snag a man”.

I am Mexican. I for random reasons have documents. But I have many relatives and friends who are EXACTLY like me in every possible measure but have no documents. I do not consider myself any different from an undocumented Mexican but I can and will vote and I will make sure that me and my kids NEVER forget this. For…

Yeah, but it’s one of the only beverages available rated SPF 30!

To be fair, does sound like the 500 calories wouldn’t, you know, necessarily stay in your stomach long enough to do owt to your waistline.

“... and we’re going to take our country back ...”

I want to watch a buddy cop show about her and Rachel Dolezal. Rach is the tough, take-no-shit, blackface cop. She doesn’t need a gun or badge; she’s got her bow and arrow and her race card. Belle is the freewheeling hippie cop with a tragic secret: she’s dying of fake-ass cancer. Together, they must team up to fight…

Clothing with names is the #1 thing that prevents us for returning it or consigning it