See HBO, you can end a story properly. :D

But really, how many kinds of toilets are there? You’ve got ass, piss, vomit, and doggie drinking bowl.

Watching Vinny Testaverde Jr. complete a pass to Joe Horn Jr. would be the most XFL 2 thing ever.

And when he went to practice the next day, a small sign hung in the practice facility that read simply: Zach Brown Banned.

The cart had to be carted off the field.

I checked all the porn this weekend, did not see him.

I dunno, “Pick whoever is playing the Dolphins” seems pretty sound.

One way or another, the Patriots’ trip to Buffalo always leads to dildos on the field.

After 3 weeks, Melvin Gordon tired of being a Sans Dinero Charger.

Not sure which he twisted more, the ankle or the facts.

I don’t mean to say that Greg Schiano is right about anything, and it’s different because this was a tie game and they were within threatening distance of scoring, but there should probably just be a signal to the refs of “hey, we’re going to run out the play clock” rather than the whole kneel down thing.

There is no way on earth Warren Sapp decries cheap shots, just the price of the women who accompany them. 

Really? Dysfunction Intersection? Dysfunction Junction for the win!

I dunno, maybe a great jersey just makes our leading man look better than he really is, but being there, given the choice between the Leonard and the Gardner, you gotta chance the Gardner.

Lucky him, it’s better than being on the field while the Jets will be going 0-6.

Sounds like his sternum needs to be terrified of his clavicle

Fuck oui

she’ll be rouxing all of the missed chances

If conversion therapy is so effective, why do the Saints carry a punter on their roster?

Now if he finished the night off with 12 hot dogs, half a dozen cigars and 3 hookers, he'd have equaled the Babe's stats