This was just one more reason I’m locking him down! Literally. He’s not allowed to leave the apartment ever again.

There is a French phrase I love, l’esprit de l’escalier, which is often translated to staircase wit. It is basically the concept of coming up with the perfect, witty response once you’ve already left the situation. It comes from a line by a French philosopher (below). A little more context is that French townhouses of…

Man I love heartwarming story days as much as I love chicken and waffles (it’s a lot...)

That couple was clearly April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer.

“My friend and I are now both offended (she as a second generation Mexican-American and I as a first generation Fat-Lesbian).”

Now all they need is another friend who is an illegal communist to complete the scene.

I just heard an insanely nice story. An old man named peg-leg bob (you heard me and yes he had a real peg-leg) passed away a few years back hometown. He was a lonely old coot with no family and ate at the same steak place 4 times a week, eating the same thing every time. I had to go to that restaurant yesterday for a…

I’m pretty sure Douche Dad ran into two of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

It’s not the worst. I think that honor goes to Kum ‘n’ Go, which is seriously absolutely a real gas station chain.

My sides reached orbit at “first generation Fat-Lesbian”. I only hope that one day, I too will be able to find someone who will stare down assholes while I dance to songs from the 70s.

The Holly Jameson story reminds me of something that happened to me at a CVS a few weeks ago while I was was waiting to pick up a prescription. One of the two pharmacists was helping an elderly woman with lots of insurance issues so the other pharmacist was taking care of everyone else. The woman in front of me was…

Monogrammed Thermos™ does both!

I can't tell if these stories warmed my icy cold heart or chilled my raging hot anger.

OK FOLKS!!!

Horrible coworkers clearly bullying a person with food allergies by eating all their birthday ice cream. Come on.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

matt damon once stole my taxi, realized he stole my taxi, and then got out so i could get my taxi and gave me a $50 because he felt so bad about it. matt damon is fucking awesome.

This actually happened in a restaurant!