Adalaide Byrd scored the fight for the cow.

Dumb enough to attend live golf I would imagine.

How fucking dumb do you have to be to buy into a marketing slogan from a piss beer company as something you should yell out as a catch phrase?

There is no sane person left on this planet that thinks there’s any debate between messi and ronaldo. Ronaldo isn’t on the same fucking planet. He’s a brilliant striker, but if you’re building a team and you want the best ever, you take messi every single fucking time.

Can’t imagine it has to do with the fact that one of them, in his public persona at least, is a relatively humble, bearded, upstanding (if tax-evading) citizen, while the other is a gelled-up, preening, camera-greedy apparent jerk against whom entirely believable allegations of sexual misconduct were made.

This is April.

going away for a while to nurse your wounds, another Holy Week move

Yeah. When will UCONN’s women’s program (10 national titles, 188-3 last 5 seasons) ever catch a break?

Alternate Title:

+1 less bag of dog food

Kevin Garnett hasn’t done shit to actually back up any reputation for being a tough guy. First Youtube result for “Kevin Garnett fight” shows him throwing the ball at people, walking very quickly away from the guys coming towards him, and not much else. He’s fake tough. If you had used legitimately crazy people like…

Idea: train former players to be referees. KD would never ever pull this shit on Kevin Garnett

Also he should be pushed into a river to see if he sinks or floats and if he floats he should be burned at the stake.

Except that Bon Jovi is the absolute worst of all of them.

After the ejection, Devin Kurant went on Instagram to say that the no-call was bullshit and Kevin is very handsome.

Counterpoint: All Billionaires are assholes.

Counterpoint: (the band) Tesla sucks.

Oh cool, a guy commenting on baseball who doesn’t know where right field is.

The proper counter is to hatchet-throw the bat at the opposing pitcher, kick the catcher backwards, pick up the ball and run from third to first to home to second. This unlocks unlimited-dingers mode.

this is the obvious counter to the defense, but........