Haha! I owned a turbo-3800 Fiero that had ~475rwhp and ran high 10's in the quarter in street trim, so I can definitely say that the power is there for some mind-blowing craziness. With FWD, this car would be a highway-pull monster.

yup

I hate flying because I hate people.

Back in the old days, it was small parts. Lots of rear-view mirrors and gas caps.

I worked at a Ford dealer. We had wheels stolen off a 50th Aniversary Mustang. That’s $8000 in wheels and tires. We also had a King Ranch F350 stripped clean. They even stole the carpeting. That was $40K in damages.

Right?

I know there is a copilot, but I imagine the pilot just wrapping some twine around the yoke and running back to do stuff n’ thangs.

when he decided it’d be a good idea to have three whiskeys

At least they removed the “assault on a man’s plantation help”. I am assuming they did. Did they?

Sideburns and no hair is the perfect physical embodiment of his life choices.

While waiting for parts, the dealer’s service department decided to park my car out of the way, which ended up being between two rows of new cars in the back lot. Thieves hit the dealership one night my car was there, and due to their being in a hurry and a lack of space between rows, my car took a hell of a pounding…

He’s glad I was not on the flight.

That ended well. That guy could've vomited after the takedown and the rest of the passengers would've stomped on his face on their way out.

And now he's online, even though he probably doesn't want to accept it. Oh the irony

Three whiskies? C’mon Kentucky, step your game up. Also, it’s great how retrograde the South is. “Assault on a female” is a specific type of crime? In the year 2016? You keep being you, you hillbilly sonsuvbitches. It's the Balkans of America.

That is way funnier than it has a right to be.

As the person who has had to deal with this shit multiple times at a dealership... as in stealing tons of wheels off of cars overnight... I have zero feelings.

damn, that’s all sorts of jacked up