I thought Bruce In The USA was the number one Springsteen tribute band. I am serious, people. Can we settle this?

He’s an illiterate domestic abuser. Period.

On average, it takes three generations for a family to piss through its wealth. Guess what generation the Trumps are on?

The only funny thing he ever did was the “Soul Cycle Class For The Homeless” on the Citi Bikes. That was years ago and well before his instagram page of other people’s jokes took off.

You know what else was fake news: Obama not being born in the US.

Who wants to bet that the day an NFL comes knocking, the purse opens up?

That would be Ivy-League-Educated Chris Berman to you, pal.

I think he’s just now realizing the difference between being a small player from a backwater state to a major player in an administration. He’s under the microscope and will be for his entire term. One slip up, one dumb remark and his entire legacy goes up in smoke. That’s why he looks terrified.

We have to rise up as a populace and forcibly remove him from office.

There are a lot of better people who could have been nominated. Mediocre America here we come.

YES!

Honestly, I just want to tax the shit out of the old people who created this mess.

USA PATRIOT Act. It was an acronym.

Until you realize that they all file for SSD and the blue states - you know, the ones that actually make money - have to pay the bill.

Taking pictures of sleeping people is creepy.

The last administration to ignore the intelligence community ended up with 3,000 dead Americans on American soil less than 9 months after taking office. Republicans can’t keep America safe.

You know those loud, not-dumb-but-not-too-bright kids from school who were always yelling out wrong answers and then trying to defend their wrongness? They’re in charge now. America the Mediocre (TM) brought to you by Republicans: We’re Not Racist But Our Laws Are.

Buy guns and ammo.

Like Sand Grains Through The Hour Glass, These Are The End Of Days (Of Our Lives).

because that show was only good for two seasons... oh, nevermind...