Cool, tell them to buy more NOW.

Cool, let’s raise the age to get a driver’s license.

I cannot wait for him to meet with the victims of TrumpCare. Let’s go ahead and clear that schedule for the next million years.

Sand Snakes have consistently been some of the most interesting and compelling characters on the show

I just made a very similar joke. I figured someone beat me to it.

You wanna see me throw this football over this mountain (of debt I accumulated)?

I’ve been told to go back to Ireland exactly zero times.

He has the look of someone who frequents truck strop bathrooms.

Dude dyes his hair, right?

It would be interesting to see who owns those bonds now...

*Puts On Tinfoil Hat*

Kid: But the sand people move single file to hide their numbers. These tracks are side-by-side.

I’M LOVIN IT.

Isn’t birth control not very christian/conservative? THE STATE IS STOPPING GOD’S WILL!

TAKE THOSE DIRTY COP’S HOUSES! Asset Forfeiture! They used the house in commission of crime - being dirty cops. Take their cars! Take their cell phones! Take their money!

I felt like something was off and as soon as I read your post it clicked: she made this up for attention. Thank you.

I hope someone doxxes these absolutely terrible people. I was a shitty teenager but not to this level. I knew better and so did they.

I’m gonna set the over/under at 4 inches. What ya got?

LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

This is pure “I saw spandex man leaving the gym with a girl I think is hot and why not me damn it? I’ll show this guy...” column.