Why even bother to read it if it bothers you so much?

Suggesting that it was not a legitimate rape?

“Oh so our target might be a hospital or other such facility filled with innocents and/or civilians? Well, I ain’t got time for all that.” *click*

so jk Rowling mailed in some supplementary material in order to make a fuckton of money?! Didn’t see this coming 14 years ago...

Because all these millennials that write for deadspin were in middle school when bonds retired/couldn’t get signed and know literally nothing about him or his career other than he was a really good hitter.

As a trillonaire immortal from the planet Zalgor, I can say without a doubt that that was an accident.

As a white man who thinks nothing of NASCAR other than “these some racist hillbillies out here,” I cannot for the life of me fathom why a black man would ever *want* to get involved with the sport.

I disagree; he shoots from 3 fully well enough to start at the 5 for GSW.

Not accustomed to consorting with human females?

Whoa whoa, buddy. Take it easy. Shoving inanimate objects into one’s butthole can be amazing, no jokes.

Who goes to the comments section on deadspin and expects to *not* see jokes?

“Henry may-hee-uh” well that was hard

Notorious pass dropper and crybaby Terrell Owens cries about missing the first ballot - shocker.

Ouch! I need some Tylenol for that one. Claws in, kitty!

And she was so traumatized by fox news’ blatant victim shaming of her that she couldn’t wait to sign on with the company!

This doesn’t answer my question at all.

“After Fowler re-signed *** his agent Casey Close—who is one of the most powerful agents in the sport”

How is the onus on the unsigned player and his agent to tell the truth just because an organization prematurely leaked misleading information?

“Slinger with a 1 point victory.”

So there’s no way to like... Subpoena phone records or something? From the provider? Serious question.