I brought this up recently when Katherine was Cool Girl-ing all over the Helsinki meeting like a teenager whose dad was trying to have a conversation with her as he was driving her to the mall.

HamNo can barely grow a fresh thought, let alone enough hair for white boy dreads.

SERIOUSLY I WAS SO EXCITED FOR HALF A SECOND.

I honestly might lose my mind.

Wait, does this mean you did take the buyout?

Sky has built up so much ill will in me that the idea of watching two weeks them building up to another inevitable win honestly makes me a little angry. The only way I’d be a little okay with it is if Dave Brailsford agreed to be launched into the fucking sun and I won’t have to listen to another one of his…

Oh, please, let’s dig into rich white yuppies seeing a strict, medically supervised diet ameliorate some severe symptoms of certain moderate-to-severe neurological disorders and going, “My kid is rambunctious and doesn’t like to sit still during story time, they must be SO SUPER CRAZY ADHD and the keto diet will cure…

The organic obsession is another thing that drives me bonkers. I had a friend’s stepmom turn down a piece of pie because I didn’t use organic berries. Literally put her fork down and pushed a slice of pie away.

Right? Like I kept saying to my friend who was pestering me about it, “It sounds fine I guess for people who really need to jolt themselves out of eating nothing but boxed pasta salad and hot fudge sundaes but you’re a healthy eater already, what the eff are you gaining other than getting to talk constantly about how…

Like all internet comments, my original reply was quick and semi-emotional (anonymous annoying friend venting!) and I immediately was like, “Uh oh, maybe I opened myself to a flame war from keto enthusiasts.” BUT! It seems like we’re all on the same page laughing at weirdos who have a diet that makes bananas bad for…

Preach! I’m a recreational cyclist and I try and ride at least 100 miles a week with some punchy climbing. I need hella glycogen all up in my muscles and I don’t need my body eating itself just to do it.

Yeah, a big pet peeve with people who have basically “wildtype” metabolisms—like, no disorders or anything—who watch a documentary that shows people with pathologies benefiting from eating a certain way is the wildtype person assuming: “Well, if I eat only grassfed steak and brussel sprouts I should become a SUPER…

I was probably nagged so much by this friend because even though I was trying to be diplomatic as she would go on and on about the keto diet I kept saying stuff like, “I don’t care what you eat, but I don’t think the science is there and why would you not eat cake for no reason.” Obviously she thought there was a…

I wish this was the reason for a modern diet to exclude beans.  So whimsical!!

Caaaarrrrbbbbbbssss. You can’t have carbs. Beans are too starchy. This friend who I haven’t spoken with much this summer because of her pestering about the keto diet told me she can’t even have a banana because it takes up all her carbs for the day.

Lol. This is hilarious and if I’m feeling particular frisky I might use the spirit of this :)

I am like obsessed with that recent PNAS article about 14,000 year old bread. I have a friend who pestered the shit out of me about her fucking keto diet, which she based on some Netflix doc that mashes together Keto and Paleo. All they talk about is how humans have “only” been eating grains for 10,000 years and if…

Shitting Twinkies sounds much too delightful and whimsical for those folks.  But I love snack cakes so #biased.

Quick! Someone accuse S2MB of being a paid Russian Troll. I want to see another tomato-face-accusation level multi-day temper tantrum (might still be going on) across all of Splinter.

You know, if they admit that this signal-boosting via targeted social media network campaigns swayed the general election at all, they’ll have to look long and hard at how much real, live enthusiasm there was for Sanders because NO ONE from that camp really wants to talk about how that campaign used the same exact…