And everyone’s favorite Intercept readers and adjunct political science professors in the Department of Splinter Commenter sections are here to say, “NUH UH YOU JUST DON’T GET THE JOKE YOU’RE AN IDIOT.”

It’s almost like us bike nerds have a little bit of vernacular that might be particular to our hobby. I wonder what that reminds me of on this particular website (PONDERING EMOJI).

Yeah, it’s true when it comes to road bike setup ups, if you say you have a fresh whip with the latest Ultegra components that in and of itself is telling you it’s an 11 spd cassette because that’s the only way the Ultegra line of shimano components is made.

The bike speed ‘splaining is hilarious. I’ve never, in my life as recreational road cyclist, heard anyone who was bike tech savvy refer to, say, an 11spd shimano 105 component setup as a “22 speed.”

I’m so sick of hearing about something being replaced with some trash they “got off Amazon.”

This is actually a pet peeve of mine. I’ve been quite broke in the past and the amount of mental effort I took to know what cost how much where was exhausting. I have friends now who want to pretend like they’re as middle class as the next person (while having vacation homes and multiple new cars and shit) who have a…

The “small steps” bullshit is the fucking worst. If you take a small step every once and a while toward a person who’s choking on the other side of the room do you still get to be a fucking hero when they die because, hey, at least you took a couple steps??

Dude, I’ve said it all over these GMG sites. Ecological disaster is not going to be solved by relying on white yuppies to decide, in each individual, personal, commercial transaction to do the “right” thing.

...single use straws prevent the spread of immune disorders.

I love the tips I’ve gotten! My younger sister was designated the “girly girl” so I spent my teenage years living in opposition to that. And then, I think this is probably a common story, at some point it got embarrassing to start from scratch??

I have these monstrous Bavarian, swarthy brows that I inherited from my grandfather—do thick browed people still tint??? I didn’t use makeup as am adolescent, but I spent a lot of time wrangling my eyebrows :P

I turn 30 this year and have yet to learn anything about makeup. When I have a date sometimes I think, “Oh, I should put on chapstick to make my lips look shiny!”

God, I wish the people who don’t seem to care whether the government provides services or not would just go build their cabins in the woods and leave us the fuck alone.

Now that I see the Big Businesses trying to find alternatives I’m starting to get a little less eye roll-y about this straw thing. And especially if they can get the material science ahead of hipster stainless steel or, ugh, paper straws. I would hope that for the reasons you state, if a flexible, disposable,…

Yeah, I can imagine in big/bigger cities with multiple companies doing this (in addition to the scooters) this gets old fast. It’s like perfectly scaled for us right now, though, and Lime does a dope job keeping everything organized.

It’s just an issue right now because it’s not an accepted part of the metropolitan landscape as yet

The idea that someone would give that footage to Jez first is hilarious.

I have an uncle who pulled a similar move with a boat (a deck boat for cruising around Midwestern lakes). It came with—ugh, I dunno the lingo but my parents have their own version of the boat now and the inboard engine is the same as their suburban—but ol’ uncle wanted the option to murder 12 people via speed in a…

When I finally deciphered what the fuck is this blog thing was about my first thought was, “WHY DO YOU THINK WE CARE ABOUT THIS!??!”

True! I forgot to add the hedge, “if Splinter survives through the end of June.”