Where are the scary stories tho?!!!!

they haven’t got fucking piles of money tho

Wonderful, if a touch heavy-handed, use of irony. But alas I think the crowd here think you’re sincere! Imagine!

I don’t have any!

unlike Americans who haven’t a xenophobic bone in their collective body

Hmm, Rome must have fallen without anyone noticing then, because these ARE the Dark Ages.

Don’t worry he can call his mommy, she’s just upstairs

Popbitch had stories from the set of Moulin Rouge way back in the day too. Something to do with some fancy shoes being gifted to the wrong person etc etc?

omg. i suppose you’re going to bring up the Holocaust next. get some perspective for the love of god. you’re making a fool of yourself because you want to have the last word on the internet.

I was getting rejected by men

well it definitely isn’t the fault of climate change.

Satan masturbates to it.

may i suggest memorising huge chunks of the new testament and quoting jesus christ at them all day long, you know all that shizz about loving people and going to hell because you didn’t help the poor etc

the CHILD SUPPORT tho. jeeez, you can’t expect him to pay that can you?!!!

i could totally tie him up for a one night only kind of thing

He’ll still fuck it up and need Russian bailouts tho.

Restricting abortion access too. Women who want autonomy over their own bodies are the REAL killers, let’s never forget that.

that or he’s a straight up sociopath

at least 19.3% of cats would be sulking somewhere tho

yup, a dog would dial 911, but cats are just waiting for the day