His hair makes him look like a villain in an 80s action thriller.

Going to work and not getting paid is pretty much the exact opposite of a strike

I suspect his relationship with his mother was even more unsettling than his relationship with his daughter. He even emulates her hairstyle. A 70-year-old man with the same hairstyle as his late mother. Even Freud himself would think that's going too far

You get instagram likes. Every “like” releases a small amount of dopamine and serotonin in your brain, which makes you feel good for a brief moment. When those chemicals are gone, you can experience feelings of emptiness and malaise. So you go hunting for your next fix. They're chasing the dragon.

The “purity” rhetoric surrounding virginity makes me want to hurl. Of course, it mostly applies to women. We become dirtier and dirtier the more penises we’ve had inside us. I think for men, virginity is about not wanting to soil their magical penis with a dirty woman, and self-control. By denying and controlling…

Porn is absolutely the worst when it comes to warping people’s ideas of how sex should be, and the second worst thing is romcons and sitcoms. Their depiction of sex is just as unrealistic, just not as crude 

Obviously test every man who was employed in the nine months before the baby was born

How much did it cost to write those lists?

Some man will probably whine “discrimination!” if you insist that all male staff have to be monitored. 

If she's still working out as much as she used to, she probably has like 0% body fat to smooth over the implants. 

The muscles waste away when you don't move. Metabolism is wonked up if you don't move. 

What are they going to say? “Yeah, we knew and we did absolutely jack shit about it!” They’re going to be sued either way, but they’re trying to cover their negligent asses

Depends. Patients in a permanent vegetative state can sometimes just have a heart monitor and nothing else. It depends on their condition

No. Patients in a permanent vegetative state don’t absorb nutrients very well and are almost always underweight. It would be a very bad idea to keep a person in a permanent vegetative state obese anyaay, since that would make bed sores worse and obesity affects breathing and circulation, which is already impaired in…

It’s difficult to keep these patients at a normal weight, and she’s been in this state for 10 years.

My friends’ kids have started crying when they (my friends) changed their hair colour or wore lipstick. Seeing your mother changing her whole face must be unsettling. Imagine the Kardashian kids or Ivanka’s kids looking at old photos wondering who that girl standing next to granny is, and their mom’s saying “that’s…

DNA test the baby and the male staff.

Ivanka used to look a lot more like her brothers. I wonder if it's weird to see your old face in your children's when you've made such drastic changes in your own? 

Image googling “[celebrity] before after” is a guilty pleasure of mine. Ivanka, Madonna and Kim K are the most jawdropping, it’s ridiculous they pretend they haven’t had multiple major surgeries when the evidence is right there.

She’s not denying she had a butt implant