Let the winner of best picture from last year present the first award, then have the winners present the next award. Do away with hosts all together

Sometimes I look at my beautiful, happy, affectionate, curious toddler and try to imagine that Kellyanne Conway, Trump, Kirstjen Nielsen, Brett Kavanaugh etc. were once sweet innocent toddlers too. And then it feels like my brain explodes into goo and oozes out from my ears, nose and mouth. What the hell happened to…

Phil Hartman *sniffle*

Cheap is no excuse, all my glasses are the cheapest glasses ikea had. I can still wash them without breaking them. People all over the world wash glassware without breaking most of them, you need to loosen your grip, Lenny

Cheap is no excuse, all my glasses are the cheapest glasses ikea had. I can still wash them without breaking them.…

First thing I noticed was his bloodshot eyes. That image is photoshopped to hell and back, but they didn't fix his eyes? He looks like a tweaker during allergy season

I wouldn't mind being on a remote island with no internet if there were no other people around. I would read or knit and probably sleep a lot better. It takes enormous willpower for me to not mindlessly surf the web if there's internet available. Most of the time I give up and refresh the same site I just refreshed…

Wtf are you doing if you're breaking glasses when you wash them in the sink? I'm 40, have never lived in a home with a dishwasher and have never broken one single glass washing it

Wtf are you doing if you're breaking glasses when you wash them in the sink? I'm 40, have never lived in a home with…

Lighthouse keeper, sure, but no way I would run an inn. Waiting on people, putting up with their demands and complaints? Cleaning up after them, being polite and smiley all the time. No thank you!!! What’s the point of living on a remote island if you have to be a maid to a bunch of people?

471 pages? That’s like one of the middle Harry Potter-books!

That’s been going on forever, people have complained both in comments and via e-mail. The only thing that happened was that they screwed up the notification system instead.

You can get a fungus infection under the nail that makes the nail separate from the nailbed. It's really gross and difficult to treat. Also, I don't know if it's the case with this fungus (and I refuse to google because it will show me pictures in the search results) but some fungi are developing resistance against…

Maybe her partner isn’t the father or legal guardian of her child? In that case I really hope the girl isn’t deported. This is her home and she just lost her mother

They should have an exchange program with Russian prisons for this one. American prisons are too humane for that woman

Can you imagine how bad the other photos were if he chose that one? And FYI Jr, that dirt on the lower part of your face does not fool anyone into believing you have a chin. Just do what Ivanka did and have a nice doctor install one

I thought god was against tattoos?

Corporations don’t exist for their own sake, they exist because people buy whatever they are producing. Corporations aren’t the cause of this planet’s problems, it’s the consumers who demand loads of cheap goods and services. People are the problem. If we stop buying so much unnecessary crap, there wouldn't be…

I’m almost hoping, for their sake, that they will never get out of this delusion? Neurosis? Psychosis? Because imagine being them, having a moment of clarity and fully realize you are idolizing the Kardashians, of all people on the planet? Oof. Then Rod Serling comes in and does an epilogue

Fake news! The quote is out of context, he was actually talking about the White House

I’m a single parent and loving it. On New Year’s eve, my son fell asleep at 8, I made myself a snack, watched half a dozen episodes of Alfred Hitchcock presents, knitted half a sock and went to bed. It was awesome! I partied a lot when I was young, dinner parties and then to a club, I am so done with that.