I would just like to know who does her pedicures. Because, damn. Those are fine feet.

I just saw The Single Man with Colin Firth, directed by Tom Ford. I didn't think it was possible to make Colin Firth even yummier, but Tom Ford, and Tom Ford's clothes, definitely did.

@redboxers: I'm old. Things like that occur to me. :-)

Please leave Harry Potter out of anything Paris Hilton-related. The guy gave his life, sorta, to save the world. Show some respect.

@lt1218: Puppets never die. They just get new handlers. :-)

Anyone here old enough to remember that puppet, Madam?

Congrats to the UConn women's team for winning all those games.

Career?

I think that doctor and I have been watching the same porn movies.

I prefer to call it my New Year's Entertainment. "One night stand" is so 2010.

I sure hope it happens before the world ends in 2012. Otherwise, the tabloids will have nothing to write about.

Great. Now I'm thinking about Larry King's genitals.

@BrianFellow: I love the example of track records. I'll be including that in my future arguments!

@I'm Ron Burgundy?: And college basketball is broken down into mens and womens games. And from there into divisions.

I disagree that they're breaking a men's record. They're setting a women's record. They don't play men's basketball, they're not setting a men's basketball record.

"on an open-seated stool over a boiling pot of herbs (usually including mugwort and wormwood)"

Do they not do root touchups in Madrid?

I'm a microwaver. Is there a special line for me?

I can see that side of the argument against Hooters. It's not the waitresses it's the advertisements for Hooters-related products that are very un-childfriendly. The last time I was there (I love their wings. Don't judge.), the stand up ad on the table for the calendar was basically soft porn. Not something that…

Am I the only one who thought that was a flying penis?