It would be so great if people could just be honest. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, we’ve been married 2. We have been monogamous and we have opened things up, we have an honest open dialog about what we want and need at any given time. Our friends don’t understand because it’s not exactly socially…

You said society isn’t pressuring anyone to make people be in relationships. And while true, if and when someone wants to be in a relationship the only ones that are accepted widely are monogamous ones. Soooo EYE mentioned polygamy and other types of relationships to back up my claim that other types of relationships…

That’s how I read the post as well, which is why I said I was hoping this situation would open a larger dialog. But man people are defensive. I don’t see gloriaestefanwasright advocating for people to cheat or excusing their behavior.

I think that’s what she’s saying though. If people realized they didn’t have to be monogamous and find people with whom they could be in open or poly relationships with, they would be happier and it would lead to less betrayal because folks were being true to themselves and honest with others. Monogamy isn’t a bad…

No one is saying they aren’t. For fucks sake, what I am saying is that wrathful public accountability thing seems to breed more lying and deception in the first place. If we could accept that people do their best and a woman who allows her husband to have other sexual partners isn’t wrong then I bet we’d see a lot…

Right and the anger exists because people are CONSTANTLY pressured into thinking they MUST be monogamous. So much so that they agree to it even when they don’t think they are capable. This is the start - it comes BEFORE the lie.

Am I the only one that’s been listening to Dan Savage all these years?

I’ve been thinking that it would be great if this opened a greater dialog on monogamy and relationships. I mean how many of these people are Christians who think that marriage is between one man and one woman? I am betting the number is pretty high. Clearly what we say, is not what we do.

Newsflash - people have a really hard time being in long term monogamous relationships and society’s weird, unnecessary and CONSTANT shaking finger makes it harder for people to just be able to admit that to themselves, and find relationships that DO work for them. But SURPRISE when you guilt them into obeying…