I used to write/edit Nordstrom’s product copy, and I *totally* would have let this copy fly.

No thanks. I’m buying this $85 rock from Nordstroms with which I will hit myself repeatedly to unconsciousness until 2020.

I don’t pretend to know the whole story here, but what a bitch.

‘ahhhhhh, shit shit shit - hey, that worked :)’

Do you have to play the balls where they lay?

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

That bicycle is definitely a more reliable option than the Yugo.

2024? Isn’t that their combined age?

Surprised nobody posted this yet:

Just swing by your local VW dealership and they’ll turn that off for you.

Well then after reading that I think I’m in need for some cute kitten gifs .Whos with me?

You are telling me these motherfucking things are gonna charge that motherfucking car?

The Sharkraptor.

jk

$50? For a long time? Ok, hop on in!

George Lucas just called and decided that midichlorians are exothermic, so he would have been fine.