That makes sense. But they had no cats growing up, just dogs. Years ago, I questioned her about it once, her rationale is that is easier for HER to grab (to hell with everyone else i guess). I’ve been working on a study to assess the amount of time that I’ve wasted in my life fumbling/rolling to grab that lead edge.

An utter embarrassment to the office and to our country.

In a place that none of us like but all of us have, way down in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle, some of us secretly enjoy Goliath stomping on David’s heart. It reminds us that there’s a natural order to things. When up is down and down is up, sports can be there to remind…

Again, I’m sorry about all this. The last thing I want is to sit here like some goth nihilist dipshit and lecture everyone, and douse a seemingly festive occasion in cold piss. I wanna snap out of it. I want EVERYONE to snap out of it. I want America to wake up in a fevered sweat and realize what it’s done and…

Too bad we’ve let the terrorists win.

You know, I sometimes wonder a bit about what your kids will think of your writing when they’re 18, 28, 38, etc. I think when they come across (or you point them to) the top of this jamboroo, you’re going to get a huge fucking hug. I think there’s something really powerful here.

There is absolutely nothing someone could say they did that I would consider an over reaction to bed bugs. Threw away your $2000 mattress? Well obviously. Spent two months salary on exterminators? Sounds about right. Moved and left all your stuff behind? You can always get more stuff. Burn your house down with your…

And that is what I thought, but we were wrong. Sure there are the crazies, but there aren’t enough crazies to elect Trump of even the local dog catcher. You keep thinking these people are stupid, and that was our mistake. Continuing to think they are stupid shows me that you too can’t adjust when proven wrong.

I think realizing what this job entails already has. He somehow had no fucking clue, even on November 9, the enormous responsibility that would be heaped on his shoulders. I’d be appreciating his misery if it didn’t mean that anything he does will badly fuck up the country.

I met Ernie Harwell (and Al Kaline) in an elevator in Vegas once. It was the year after the Loma Prieta earthquake and the A’s were playing their early season games in Vegas while their stadium got checked out/fixed up. We were out there for a buddy’s bachelor party and decided to go see the A’s play the Tigers.

Bronson is awesome. It came out in 2008.

His election is like something out of a Greek myth — he got exactly everything he didn’t want. He now has to live in a city he hates, surrounded by people who hate him, and spend his days in boring nerd-ass meetings and reading reams of dry reports prepared by other nerds. Imagine if Sisyphus could just step aside and…

Vader firing up his lightsaber was the first time I’ve ever had the uncontrollable urge to yell in a theatre. Muffled that scream just in time.

Yo, seriously, [MAJOR SPOILER ALERT] Vader’s rampage right at the end was probably the most fuckin’ amped I’ve been in a movie theater in years. I felt like my head was going to pop.

Barry Sanders. Good lord was he amazing. I doubt the -1 yard playoff game means much to anybody outside of Green Bay but shit. Lions visiting Lambeau on NYE for a wild card game and all anybody expects is Barry Sanders running roughshod over the Packers defense. Two games a year holding your breath every time he gets…

What’s so horrible about that? Lions <3

Also, why does your mug topper have a skull hanging above the door? Williams-Sonoma has clearly gone to a dark place lately.

I can’t stop laughing at the “dicking out” guy. OMG... my side hurts. The people around me think I’m insane.

I know they were last seen relaxing on a beach, but aren’t Billy Ray and Winthorpe almost definitely in prison at this point? It was probably the most blatant example of insider trading the SEC would have ever seen.

I wouldn’t classify “Tweetstorms are dumb” as a hot take. It’s not even a lukewarm take, it’s just a fact for exactly the reasons Drew states. I get that a writer/tweeter/general asshole might have thoughts about a story with a shelf life of like, an hour, that they must get out to the masses before it’s too late, by…