For the life of me I cannot understand why the fuck any self-respecting human being would incorporate mother fucking fried chicken into their waffles. It makes absolutely no fucking sense, what so ever. You might as well put ketchup on your goddamn ice cream and sour cream in your coffee. Oh hey, I have a great idea!…

Life rule #1 - never let an orphaned Brazilian become your confidante.

Wait, this all started because someone searched for the word “rape” in Zendesk.

Why wouldn’t he just clean install iOS? Your boss sounds like a massive dumbass. Please show him this message and report back to us...

Yes, we still think it’s funny.

Yes. Jesus sent me here to cast a shadow over the vapid lives of those enthralled with celebrity.

“I don’t know all the facts, but...”

Following famous people on social media should be considered a form of mental illness.

Blah blah blah it’s all inconsequential. All of it. And them.

No, no... religion still isn’t worth anything. Perspective is possible without Jeebus.

This better?