Ha, well at least you have that miraculous Birth Orgasm to look forward to.

My boyfriend is still straight up ANGRY about it hahahahha.

His whole oversized noggin is troubling; it seems insufficiently supported, to begin with. His patchy beard is the least of his melon’s problems. I’m going to do it. Fuck it, I’m calling for a whole new cabeza on this one.

People whose facial hair grows in this scraggly pattern should be banned from letting their “beards” grow. This is atrocious.

he was the romantic hero of downton abbey for 3 seasons and then got himself killed off to “launch his movie career in america” and is now on a web series or being eaten by lizards.

I aim to please

Yup, you are. I recently got married (my husband and I both have kids from prior relationships) and we asked them if they wanted to be part of our wedding ceremony. They said yes, so we did “family vows” in addition to our own. It was really sweet and the kids loved it too. They said it made them feel like they were…

personally i think those engagement pics are tedious, adding the dog makes it fun

I’ve been ass deep in Shakespeare but I can’t come up with anything. Bravo, fair maid and sad brow.

This man right here:

Except the problem would be poor people selling their kidneys and it’s pretty much a guarantee that lowers your life expectancy and also it allows for rich people to have access to better healthcare and honestly opens up a whole other can of worms.

I’m sorry to hear that :(

I broke up with a friend who, as I was crying from being exhausted by the sexual harassment I was receiving in a muslim country on vacation, told me “you should be happy you’re getting attention, no one is even paying attention to me”. Fuck her and her fucking face.

oh look at me I’m so quirky and fun! God. I hate her.

Yes! One of my favorite vacations was with my mom. My dad hates swimming and beaches, so when my mom decided that she was going to go scuba diving in Belize to celebrate her retirement, she asked me if I wanted to come along (paying my own way), and I agreed in a heartbeat. I wasn’t scuba certified, so I only…

Mazel tov and godspeed!! You’re in for a lot of fun... and schmutz... but more fun than schmutz... which is saying a lot because you’re in for a lot of schmutz.

Considering her mother sounds like an exceptionally wonderful human, going on her honeymoon with her mother is the opposite of embarrassing.

I look at things like this and have to admit to myself that conservatives are not entirely wrong about some issues.

And she is done.

Get out of my uterus!