ilostmydamnkey
ilostmydamnkey
ilostmydamnkey

Also, Janice remains unimpressed.

Interesting. I hope this will be useful for burn patients.

I’m glad they have this to fall back on. They’re a little short for storm troopers.

Excellent advice!

Someone is trying to add a branch?

Hmm. Well, ok. I hope the baby will be well cared for.

Pro-tip for the uninsured/underinsured mamas-to-be: After you open that first envelope with a bill for eleventy kabillion dollars, like I did after my pre-eclampsia stay, my c-section, and our NICU stay, call the hospital’s billing office and request an itemized bill. Then, contest everything on that itemized bill

Babies come in four models:

When I was born 30 years ago, a local hospital was running a “special”—if you could deliver the baby and be gone in 5 hours, it’ll cost you $150. My teenaged mom was almost as worried about staying within the time frame as she was about her health. Good to see nothing’s changed...

If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

Actually when you miscarry an 8 week old fetus it comes out in a bunch of pieces and usually one big glop that can fit in your palm. It’s like a really big period clot cause it’s not just the fetus its everything. Gross but I’ve miscarried at 8 weeks twice and once at the hospital where they gave me a cup to catch

What are they, twelve?

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A couple of things: 1) I didn't know Rita Wilson was a "singer" 2) I can't really think about Rita Wilson or Tom Hanks in a sensual way. It's like thinking about how your parents had to have had sex to make you. You know it happened, but you don't really want to contemplate it too much because they need to exist in a

All I need to know about this album is whether Chet Haze has a hip hop interlude on any of the songs.

My dear sweet god, the fallout from this one tweet of his has already given me more joy than I’ve felt since I can remember.

OKAY SO I texted my mom who is a doctor about this issue.

I feel like if you eat 51 bananas a day, your bowels are FAR from regular.