Is the dolphin ok?

“I love Mexico”.

Yeah, “I can’t leave because of my kid” is a real chestnut.

I don’t know, I don’t really take them seriously because I don’t see the need for people to get married; I’m all for it though if that’s what people want to do (and I think that everyone should enjoy the right to get married).

I don’t put too much stock in spilling those kinds of beans...I was in a crazy situation once where a guy lied to both me and his wife(!); his wife took his ass back. I swear that she suffered from Stockholm syndrome.

My friend and I have a running list of shit guys say when they cheat:

This is a very creepy beard.

This outfit is uncool.

God, what the fuck is wrong with people?

But Kanye’s world is complete; he has an heir.

True story: at a Lucky Brand store in Las Vegas, I was shopping with my boyfriend. I was wearing his plaid quilted jacket because I was cold. He’s white, I’m brown...I was followed around the store by sales associates and asked, “If they could take my items for the counter for me” the whole time I was there but my…

Awesome!

Black don’t crack!

Lol. A deputy I used to work with once had his mic keyed while he was talking to another guy about how his girlfriend liked him to shave his balls. Other officers and dispatchers tried to call him about his open mic but he kept on talkin’. After that, whenever I heard him on the radio I thought about him shaving his…

Word. Junot Diaz has been talking about this issue a lot.

What the actual fuck?

You know he’s talking about that food you just microwaved; just let that shit cool off for a minute.

Yawn.

Umm.

She’s a goddess.