I wonder if seals have any concept of falling down and hurting yourself? Seeing as they spend their time either suspended in fluid or on rocks as streamlined low profile tubes.

My favorite fact about myself is that I was christened by Little Richard. My parents met him at a hotel in NYC when I was a baby (around 1981) and since he's an ordained 7th day Adventist minister my parents (also 7th day Adventists) felt comfortable asking him to hold me and pray for my little baby soul and he did…

Yuuuuuup!

BINGO. TELL THE URSID WHAT SHE'S WON!

Ironic that it takes bashing cis women's bodies for anyone to start giving a shit about the blatant transphobia that show has been putting out for years.

You inspired me to do my nails based on a favorite childhood book. Base: Butter London Nail Foundation, and Stuff That Came Out of A Pet Comb After I Brushed My Dogs with The Giver by Lois Lowry.

What happened to your 50-60 pages of citations?

No, I'm a scientist and I actually think that the misuse of antibiotics is a huge public health issue, and along with anti-vaccination idiots, the sort of nonsense that's probably going to end our civilization. But trying to teach the American public science is harder than teaching a dog Cantonese, and so faced with…

Antibiotics are dangerous. They gave my son JennyMcCarthyitis

MARK I AM AN AMERICAN AND I PAY MY TAXES AND VOTE AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FORCE ME TO CONFORM TO YOUR LIBERAL AGENDA.

And now, a reading from a letter from St. Paul to the Corinthinians:

Bilodeau is killing me this Olympics. I pretty much just start crying and taking my clothes off every time I see him and his family now.

Legalize it.

A few years ago I was on a flight from Chicago back home. I sat on the aisle of a 3 seat row and next to me were two women in their 70s. You could tell they'd known each other forever and were the kind of women I think of as Broads. Ballsy ladies that had madcap adventures in old movies.

This woulda been me:

I'd love that! She's always great. As hard as it is to imagine John Stewart being gone from the show (more permanently than he was when John Oliver temporarily took over, that is—and I loved every minute of his run), I think she'd do a great job leading the show.

I'm starting to think Sam Bee might one day, in the far, far away future once Jon Stewart has moved on, make a pretty decent Daily Show host.

You know who can't handle these things? Adults not kids. When my daughter was six she asked me if two girls could get married I answered her question she nodded and went back to whatever she was doing. She saw a transgender man on a reality singing show we were watching last year talking about transitioning. She…

[Story about my own hair.]