Step 1: Find a salvage yard with a Jeep Grand Wagoneer.

Serious answer, this is what happens most of the time with Cook County jury duty. They panel the jury but then the case settles. I have been call for jury duty in Cook County case a bunch of time but never been on a jury that went to trial.

Serious answer? His presence would be too disruptive to the parties; particularly with the Secret Service and all the looky loos.

Yeah my youngest brother seems to be on the path of being an asshole but my parents are awesome, and my other brother and I are awesome so there’s only so much you can do.

Classy move by the front office: back the bus up over a guy who has never missed a start, (almost) never caused a controversy, made it work with such easygoing and selfless personalities as Tikki Barber, Jeremy Shockey and Odell Beckham Jr., brought home the Lombardi trophy twice, has played for the last two seasons…

Producer: “Cue up something for the loss of Roy Halladay.”

It isn’t needless.

Back in the day I used to think the Rifleman was such a cool nickname for a baller.

Creep and all, I love his writing and I would have read the shit out of that profile and I wouldn’t give a fuck if someone profits from its publication. Which is not to say that I agree with his sympathy for Spacey but I believe in letting people have dissenting opinions and I like to read things I don’t agree with if…

With Disney’s plans to buy 20th Century Fox now coming into public, this particular spat is indicative of the real danger of giving them even more power. It’s one thing to blacklist a critic for a particular review the critic wrote or because you have issues with how the other critic specifically acts.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

I don’t recall seeing him play much, but I remember how huge he was in the Aughts. As a White Sox fan, the rare Buerhle-Halladay game meant you’d be home fast.

“Fuck these prices. I gotta save money for my brother’s shoes.”

LiAngelo probably thought the shopkeepers would be just like LaVar and not pay any attention to him.

Hollywood’s weird.

her 39-person bridal party

Tracy: “My Jeep’s engine caught fire last night...”

I’ve seen that pic of Jonathon eating the pepperoni pizza a few times now today and lemme say - it does look delish!

Josh Gordon Says He Got Drunk Before Every Browns Game

I think if you’ve got three or four wins in the bank when you lose your franchise quarterback, that in itself is an out. I’m a Packers fan who agrees fully with the anthem protests, but football-wise I’d still rather have a cardboard sign that says “TANKING FOR DRAFT PICKS” under center. At some point you should stop…