There’s plenty of time for him to masturbate about it now, isn’t there?

I don’t know what the deal is with old white people. I threatened to kick an old white guys ass on the Blue Line coming from Ohare because he was harassing a young Indian girl. Surrounded by Colonizers who just watched him bully her. Went Warriors on him. Told him I’d shove his cane up his ass and turn him into a…

Yeah, my current pet theory is that Dr. Strange forced Thanos into the Mirror Universe on Titan, so anything that happens after that is an illusion. Prior to that - Heimdall, Loki, Gamora, they’re toast.

100% in Guardians 3. 0% in Avengers 4. It is known.

I was noodling around on one of those lost cash websites when I found that the State of CA owed me money. So I applied for it, and a couple weeks later got a check for three cents.

That’s some early Smithers level shit, only Smithers actually stood up to Mr Burns once in a while.

Mr. Cohen said later in the conversation: “Boss, I miss you so much. I wish I was down there with you,” the person said. “It’s really hard for me to be here.”

Instead of posting online videos protesting a cooler company, how about these people GO GET A JOB!!!!!

All these snowflakes are getting triggered over what is essentially a coupon expiration. Truly this is the Dumbest Timeline.

These cooler companies seem awfully invested in a controversy that’s gonna result in more people needing replacement coolers.

Oddly enough, stopping Yetis was the number two reason Betsy Devos gave for arming teachers.

I support Yeti because, unlike the other coolers mentioned, they get my affinity for cryptozoology.

It’s what assholes call green beans.

Simple. Offer athletes a scholarship or the equivalent in cash with deductions for room and board, if they choose to live on campus. The cheap tuition state schools like UK and Kansas will lose recruits while expensive private schools like Duke will keep on winning. But it’s honest.

You know that joke where a guy asks a woman if she would sleep with someone for a million dollars, she answers yes, and the guy offers her a dollar for sex, and she asks, “What kind of woman do you think I am?” and the guy responds, “We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price”?

Mysteriously, he is no longer at his desk

Never less than 24 hours away.

do you see him answering questions here right now

You forgot the Great Arugula Scandal of 2008.

Dammit. Now I have to delete half the games off my phone.