Now I’m hungry.  And I just ate a bloody rare steak.  I think it had some cow skin attached still. 

*Cue popcorn Gif*

Nice

#BestTake

We’re not the worst! We’re not the worst! We’re not the worst!

Looks like the love child of one of the Bears Superfans and Animal.

I DID.  HOLY SHIT I’M STUPID. 

Throwing caution to the wind, I left my ticket taking post and approached her and in my infinite coolness telling her I could get her friends in for free. Little did I know, I’d been spotted by the manager and not only did he yell at me in front of everybody, he also banned the girl from the theatre... but he didn’t…

same.

oh, he cleaned your clubs all right.  cleaned ‘em with his poop shooter. 

I can’t believe this one didn’t make it. Quitting story combined with poop story.

next up is the sexy burqa.

Wow, think about it. Those of you who watched a game between the Browns and the Jets (all 27 of you) just got to see the best game of Baker Mayfield’s career.

If you think about it, what you just said should make you question your life choices.

that was gas.  you had to fart. 

Browns coach Hue Jackson has to “watch the tape” before making decision on QB starter for Week 4

Those uniforms and the post-breakfast burrito shit I just took have a lot in common.

malort is made by draining the corpses of deceased hobos of their vital fluids, then distilling the fluid. 

haha...you drank malort.

I hope they let all the blind people in attendance onto the field to feel the players...braille lettering.